Special Report

The views expressed below are those of the author, and are not necessarily those of Mölnlycke Health Care.

Often they pick on differences between themselves and their victims, such as the colour of their hair, their height or the way they speak. If you have a skin condition such as eczema, the chances are you already feel different without being the subject of uninvited attention.

That’s why for many young people with eczema, being bullied, or living in fear of bullying, poses a real threat to everyday life.

FACTS ABOUT BULLYING

  • “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” - whoever made that rhyme up had never been bullied!
  • Bullying is not just about causing physical pain. Threats, teasing or being purposely left out of a social group are all forms of bullying and can be equally, if not more damaging
  • Bullying can come from individuals or from a group
  • Most people have been bullied at some point in their lives
  • There doesn’t need to be a ‘reason’ for a bully to pick on you
  • Bullying is a sign of weakness. Bullies pick on people because they think it makes them look good – they can’t impress people any other way
  • Bullies pick on differences in others to make them feel better about themselves
  • The worst thing that can happen to a bully is being found out
  • Some bullies are actually jealous of the people they are picking on. They may even be being bullied themselves

John Atkinson is a Senior Teaching Fellow at the University of Leeds. He teaches on courses in initial teacher training and supervises research students on higher degree programmes. He has taught in primary, secondary and special schools and has specific research interests in bullying and pupils with emotional needs. John is an OFSTED lead inspector and works as a consultant to a number of LEAs in promoting best practice to ensure that all pupils are fully involved and supported in every aspect of their school life.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE BEING BULLIED

  • Remember it’s not your fault You are not the problem – the bully is.
  • Tell someone – this is the hardest thing of all. It’s not a sign of weakness or indication that the bully is stronger than you. You have a right to feel safe and secure.
  • Organisations such as Childline are dedicated to providing confidential support and advice for young people. Often just speaking to someone about how you feel will help relieve some of the burden.
  • Don’t let them bullies under your skin! – Remember that stress can aggravate skin conditions such as eczema. Therefore the more you let bullies get to you, the worse your skin becomes and on goes the viscous circle. Try laughing off ignorant comments, showing the bullies that they won’t get the reaction from you that they are looking for. If possible, remove yourself from an environment of intimidation and say quietly to your self – “I’m too good to let them spoil my day”
  • For advice about your skin or to get hold of a new Schools Pack to help teachers address misconceptions about eczema in the classroom contact the National Eczema Society. The NES is also on hand to help with advice about eczema management. Speak to trained specialists on the NES Helpline open Mon-Fri 9am – 5pm Tel: 0870 2413604
  • Most of all - Be proud of who you are. EVERYBODY is different. We are all unique human beings and that is what makes us all special.

Robbie (14) from London “I get teased because of my weight but instead of going on a diet, I eat more chocolate to make myself feel better".
We all come in different shapes and sizes – it would be a strange world if we all looked the same wouldn’t it? It’s not up to a classmate to tell you what to eat or how much to weigh, it’s up to you to be comfortable with who you are. Next time you are teased about your weight, don’t dive into the nearest sweet shop. Stop and think to yourself – “who’s more attractive on the inside, me or them?” Stand tall and be proud of being you.

Nicole (12) from Edinburgh “My eczema has flared up since I moved to England. Now I get picked on for the way I speak and the way I look. I don’t want to get out of bed on a morning.".
Did you know it’s fashionable to have a regional accent? There’s no longer such a thing as “Queen’s English” and regionality is now celebrated on TV and in the movies. Everyone likes to listen to a different accent and that can get on bullies nerves because they’re the ones who like to be the centre of attention! Accept that you speak differently to everyone else and don’t try to change just to fit in. Finding peace within yourself will help you get your skin under control and give you the confidence to make new friends that like you for who you are. It’s always easier to get out of bed when there are friends to see!

Chloe (13) from Liverpool “How do I know if what is happening to me is bullying? If I tell someone they might think I’m making a fuss about nothing!"
Never be afraid to speak out! You mustn’t get hung up on the definition of bullying because it is different for everyone. Whether it is a nasty comment or someone has actually hit you, if you feel threatened and miserable because of the way someone is treating you then you are being bullied and have every right to tell someone. Bullies count on you keeping quiet so don’t make it easy for them!

Sam (16) from Leeds “There’s this girl in my class who gets on well with everyone apart from me and I don’t know why she hates me. The worse thing is she only teases me when no one else is around, she can see I have eczema and laughs at me when I need to wear bandages under my uniform. If I told people what she’s really like they wouldn’t believe me cos they think she’s great and she doesn’t seem like a typical bully at all".
There is no typical bully, they are all different and intimidate people in different ways. Some do it in front of a crowd to make them feel bigger about themselves whereas others may not want anyone to see. It is likely that this girl is very insecure and it is easy for her to single you out because you have eczema. This person doesn’t understand eczema and doesn’t appreciate how well you managing a difficult condition. The NES Schools Pack is designed to help teachers increase understanding about eczema in schools. Why not tell a teacher you can trust about it?

Lee (15) from Derbyshire “It sounds really stupid but there is a bunch of lads in the year below me who corner me when no one is around. They have kicked me and spat at me and said they’ll do worse if they see me out of school. I am so scared but I just feel like such a loser not being able to stick up for myself.
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how strong you are you can’t be expected to fight off a group! They’re the cowards as they have proven by always challenging you when they are in a group. You really need to talk to someone about this. It is likely that your school will have some sort of bullying programme in place to deal with this kind of thing. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone at school then there are lots of professional organisations which can give you advice on what to do, who to speak to and how to stand up for yourself. Never be afraid to ask for help.